baldmountainair01 |
Best described by Bruce Kelly:
The bag started out at a tee shirt shop as a lowly
sack to put tee shirts in at Homer Alaska (a small fishing town), but
was also intended for use on fishing charter boats. Earl was a bit of a
character in a town full of characters. He died a couple of years ago of
a heart attack, the tee shirt shop closed and the remaining bags were
given to a small bush airline named Bald Mountain Air Service. They have
exclusive use the bags on all their flights, primarily charter flights
to near-by Katmai National Park for bear watching. So technically
it becomes the barf bag for Bald Mountain Air Service, eh?
The bag itself is wondrous to behold. So wondrous, in
fact, that it's worth quoting in full:
Front
OFFICIAL EARL'S WORLD BARF BAG. Homer Spit, Alaska. Earl's World
Alaskan Shirts, P.O. Box 2833, Homer, Alaska 99603-2833, 1-907-235-2776
Keep Earl's World Barf Bag handy. It could be a lifesaver!
Back
OFFICIAL EARL'S WORLD BARF BAG. For when you'd rather be
somewhere else.
If you want to barf, you should:
1) Cross eyes and start irregular breathing.
2) Gulp air like a beached salmon.
3) Fade to a greenish or pale white color.
4) Make stomach noises like bubbling clam chowder.
5) Question life in general.
6) Promise the good Lord that if He gets you back on dry land,
you'll be good forever.
7) Suddenly feel good. This will last for 2-4 seconds, nature
provides this brief respite so you can whip open your "EARL'S WORLD
BARF BAG".
8) Go fish-eyed, look down, suck in air, bulge your cheeks, open
wide and...
9) ...C...cc...ccu...cccuu...ccCut her loose!!! #!©¥Æ!Ð
HELPFUL HINTS
A) Remember -- you won't hurl if you stay busy.
B) Stay outside in fresh air - it's better for you and the
clean-up crew!
C) Yes, kosher dills work-blah! It's time! Store them in your
EARL'S WORLD BARF BAG as long as it has'nt been used.
D) Last nights pizza looks bad the second time around, so keep
EARL'S WORLD BARF BAG on hand!
E) Grin and look happy when everyone else is having fun. Even in
roller coaster seas and gagging diesel fumes. If asked, tell them even
Earl of Earl's World likes a good barf. It's acceptable and often
inevitable.
F) Remember, chumming the water helps your fishing companions.
Also, recycling is environmentally correct - even if it's wour meal!
G) It's very important to close your EARL'S WORLD BARF BAG
securely. DO NOT turn it upside down! This is extremely hazardous, even
on an experimental basis. Trust me.
Thanks to Bruce Kelly. (2002)
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